Taglines for Movies That Shouldn't Be Made, But Most Likely Will Be Due to The Gravest of Originality Shortages in The Entertainment Industry

  • Lethal Weapon 9: Barely a Hyperbole - Two cops. One dislocated shoulder.

  • The Fast and the Furious: Student Driver in the Mix - Good thing there's no parallel parking in street racing.

  • The Simple Life: The Movie - The Answers to All The Questions The Show Didn't Have You Asking.

  • The Da Vinci Code II - Jesus Wants His Baby Back.

  • Three Ninjas 21: Tough Job Market - Rocky, Colt, and Tum-Tum Post Their Resumes at Monster.com and Wait for Replies.

  • Space Office: It's Office Space in Space!

  • X-Men 19: X:XIX - We only made this one for the Storm/Jean Grey GoGa* we've written into the X:XX script.

  • Roe V. Wade: The Autuer's Cut - Oliver Stone's Masterpiece Restored to Its Original Eleven Week Length.

  • The King James Bible - LeBron is Going to Get His God On.

  • Death Wish X: Still Dead, Motherf*cker - News Flash to Criminals: You Can't Kill An Exhumed Vigilante Corpse.

  • Untitled Ashton Kutcher Project: Just 'Cause We Couldn't Name This, Doesn't Mean It's Not Worth Viewing.

  • Kleenex: Now with Aloe Vera!

  • Movie! - This Summer, There Will Be Something On The Screen For You To Look At.

We're just hoping we never hear the following voice over in the two-plus hours of previews before a worthwhile picture:

"Just when you thought things couldn't get any dumberer, the makers of Larry the Cable Guy 43: Dumber than Dumb and Dumberererer team with the Zucker brother that's alive and someone with the last name Waynes for... Dumberererer and Dumberererererererer."

 

*Girl-on-Girl action

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Posted 06/20/06 10:30 PM

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